Watching your face as I woke up, felt god’s biggest gift to me. And untiringly staying awake whole night just to be sure to be there by your side when you need, nothing on earth could have been more satisfying than that. Before eating my breakfast at first place, feeding you had been more important. And somehow, I had been glowing beautiful in this love! You made me one 🙂
But the greatest fear a mother can have……what if I couldn’t be by your side? Would you starve to death without my presence? Was it right t make you dependent on me for every little thing needed? Or must i had tried a harsh way to teach you the basics of life, to be alive? Or was i over-possessive? Or was i acting little selfish on my part? I often got entangled with these thoughts and then would be sinking even deeper in a vanity trial of finding the answers! All i was left was with your innocent face, your sweet voice that filled into my solitary life a new melody, a new reason to be happy, a new reason to live for. The soft tender feeling of your skin as i held you, softest than the softest thing on earth. My most delicate belonging, my most precious thing, that i couldn’t even imagine of sharing with anyone… Did you knew what you had made out of me? A greedy woman! A selfish one! An over-possessive mother. Yes! your mother. And did you knew, how each beat of my heart started by watching you are safe and breathing.
Days never stop taking it’s pace and as i was learning more about you and me, you were already grown to take your first step. That might be a normal thing in every parent’s life. But for me? Watching you take steps without my being taught you, how could i ever had taught you?When i was unable to walk at first place? Somehow god knew my heart, knew my emotions and he blessed me by watching you do things that i couldn’t do. Tears rolled down to eventually wet my apparel. The joy you brought to me…… is priceless, nothing could buy it even if one gives away the universe.
With you i was growing to be more what a mother could be!Being occupied by you all the way working and surrounded by all the small little things you did and then rushing back home from the work just to re-live every bit of us!! Had the stars been much gracious on me. My life could never be such blessed. To be loved! To be having you. Did you knew by then, what you meant to an “empty-heart”? And how much i loved you/ Could i ever find words to tell you that? I………love you so much my child….And naming you..Flora” a name that ever had been close to my heart…I wished you flourished well like the green trees, bloomed like the colorful flowers, stayed happy like the butterflies and brightening, shining like the morning sunshine.. After all……you had been a better part of ME!
Thanks for making me who i am…..!!